No one wants to go there. Not voluntarily. Not of their own free will. But, sooner or later, all of us will make the journey whether we want to or not. The pain is more than physical pain. The hurt goes on and on and on, and it goes deep. The sorrow is like a cloak that we put on and wear through the journey. I call it the "Dark Night of the Soul" journey, and sooner or later, we will all walk its path. For some it is a divorce; for others it is the death of a child, or a spouse's lingering terminal illness. Maybe, it is cancer, or heroin addiction, or Alzheimer's, or financial ruin that invades your personal and private world.
The causative factors may differ, but whatever the cause, you will start the journey into your own dark night of the soul. You will cry out for a God that seems to be very far away, and you will wonder if he hears you. There will be moments when you believe that God cares about everyone else but you, and he is letting you suffer beyond what is right and just. And, then you may question God's "fairness" in letting you, his child, endure such agony while others play in the sunshine. There is no quick and easy solution here, no aspirin for instant relief. You just have to pick one shoe up after the other and keep on walking and walking and walking.
How do you get through those dark and difficult times? One day at a time, my friend, one day at a time! And talk to God every day, not forgetting to thank him for walking with you through the pain.
Lets take a look at four people who went through such a journey: Jacob, David, Jesus and Mary.
JACOB cheated his brother Esau. That brother was now coming toward him with an army. Fearing death, Jacob sent his family and possessions on ahead. Scripture says that Jacob stayed the night on his side of the river alone, and that Jacob wrestled with God (Genesis 32:22). I think that Jacob feared that his brother was going to take his possessions, capture his family, and perhaps, kill him as he would a deer or boar. So Jacob spent the night alone wrestling with his fears and his God.
The lesson to be learned here is that when it is dark all around you, God is near and will meet you at the point of your helplessness. You too can wrestle with God and prevail, but it may require your participation in an "all night" wrestling match. You have to be willing to give up your own personal desires and seek the blessing of God upon your life, even if it means walking with a limp for the rest of your days.
DAVID seduced and impregnated another man's wife. Then he conspired to commit cold blooded, premeditated murder to hide his crime. After Nathan the Prophet confronted him, David watched as his child born to Bathsheba fell ill and died. David's agony of soul is laid bare for all to see as he prostrated himself before God as the infant dies because of his sin. David later wrote passages in the Psalms that describe his journey into the dark night of the soul. In Psalm 10:1 David sings, "Why do you stand far off, O Lord? Why do you hide in time of trouble?" In Psalm 22:1 David sings, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning?"
David knew the dark bitter night of the soul. What can we learn from his experience? When the child died, David got up. He bathed, he put new clothes on, and he went into God's house to worship. There was no sense in carrying the guilt and pain of sin any further; it was time to worship God. When you are afflicted, there will come a time to put away your mourning and go to the house of God and worship.
JESUS went across the Kidron valley after spending the evening with his friends (John 18:1) and entered a garden called Gethsemane. Something happened there that night that we cannot fully understand, but Luke describes it by stating that Jesus prayed, "And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground." We don't know the specifics; Luke tells us that he prayed that "if possible" that cup might pass from him, and that an angel came and strengthened him. But, something was settled there that night that shook the heavens. And I think we all know that Jesus journeyed on a dark night of the soul for mankind on that fateful evening.
What do I learn from this experience? I see a stead-fastness and purpose in the personality of Jesus after he leaves the garden. His dark night of the soul prepared him for the next 48 hours of interrogation, torture, and death. Your experiences can likewise prepare you for the tough times ahead.
MARY, the mother of Jesus, was told by Simeon that her son, Jesus, would be for the rise and fall of many in Israel, and that "a sword will pierce through your own soul also." Other passages in the gospels indicate that Mary pondered the statements made by angels, Simeon, Anna, her cousin Elizabeth, the wise men and the shepherds. I suspect that for thirty three years she pondered and pondered and pondered. Thirty three years later, the "sword pierced through her own soul" as she saw her son nailed to a cross and lifted before the world to die, apparently rejected by man and by God. Every loving parent would trade places with their child and accept their pain and suffering. If Mary could have exchanged places with Jesus, I'm sure that she would have done so. The sword that pierces a mothers soul is a cruel entry into the dark night of the soul. A mothers pain for her suffering child is great.
But, remember, Mary continued her journey. As a member of the First Church of Jerusalem she partnered in resurrection, an ascension, a Holy Spirit baptism, and the very beginning of the Church invisible. Swords that pierce the soul leave permanent scars, perhaps not visible to the eye, but scars nevertheless. They serve as reminders of the journey, benchmarks along the way.
So, maybe you have walked a hard and troubled road. And, God seems so far away. In those times I always retreat to John's Gospel, chapters 13 through 17. It is in these passages that Jesus speaks words to his friends as he is about to enter his dark night of the soul experience. Those five chapters reveal the heart of the Savior who will walk with you through your passage of night. He spoke those words not just to eleven disciples gathered in a cozy upper room, but to all who would believe on him (John 17:20).
I have watched marriages crumble, diseases suck the life from families, personal fortunes vanish, and mental illness destroy people I once knew. These life experiences impact every family and every person sooner or later. They test the core of each person's relationship to God. When those experiences come, we have arrived at another fork in our spiritual journey. We can either accept Job's wife suggestion that he, "curse God and die," or we can wrestle for God's blessing like Jacob, sing God's praises like David, pray for God's will to be supreme like Jesus, and embrace the promises of God like Mary. In all of our trials we should worship our creator. You see, Jesus never promised that there would not be a dark night of the soul in your life. But, listen to what he promises you, "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him . . . Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" (John 14:23 and 27). When tough times come your way, let them turn you toward God and His Word; find comfort in Him.
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